Before this drunk Congress goes nuclear and rams this health care into all our orifices, its play time. Lots more depressing posts upcoming, bet on it. For now, here is a novel idea. My idea of a stimulus and jobs creation package. Oh, and another upcoming toe tapper on these pages-------Claude's Crystal Ball. Yep, your devoted storyteller will be making bold and brash predictions, most of which will come true. For those degenerate gamblers out there, find some juicehead or vig boss to take your action, and you'll have your own stimulus cash. Just make sure Claude gets his because healthy beer and cheap medications make for corrosion of my stomach walls.
1. Apply for one of those stimulus grants from our trusted and moral servants down in D.C.
2. We are going to start an internet Sign & T-Shirt Shop. (but when we get the money, its all going for "Designer Drawers." Modest and granny panties, boy & booty shorts, and unisex boxers/briefs, adorned with the image attachments you see here.
3. Maybe Barney, Waxman, Pelosi or Boxer will give us some seed money. Then, we'll mark the bills for their kickbacks and blackmail them to drop this silly health care number. We can name a line of said canvas "Boxer's Boxers." Would love to see the skidmarks on those.
4. Then, a line of beachwear, some tapestries for the Massachusetts Tree House, and custom, snapping towels for those steam baths and locker room romps.
5. Maybe the Big O would link up and slam some of these rags into his Factor Gear Store. Maybe we can partner up with "Red Eye," and have these duds evaluated by Gutfeld and crew.
But first----that reminds me of a story---Had a revolting epiphany last nite. I died and had that micro-second, beer summit with Big Pete. Instead of classical tunes, fluffing, fleecy clouds and angel wings, I am drowning in clocks.
Grandfather clocks, alarm clocks, wristwatches, pocket watches...I can't count past 12 anymore. "What's up with all this?" I know, time's a wasting, but I am already resigned to where I'm spending eternity and its not up here.
"All of God's children are monitored here with clocks. Every time someone lies, embellishes, B.S.'s, fibs or perjures themselves, the clock ticks along."
"Here we have Mother Teresa.....the perfect person. Never failed a polygraph, hence she is straight up with both hands..........Here, we have your dear friend Burger. Suffice it to say, he will log some protracted reconciliation in our exective sauna room."
Pete, I get the concept.........Where is Obama's clock.?"---------"That's a knee-slapper........The Boss has that one in his office......He's using it for a ceiling fan."
Flashback of a recent town hall----McCaskill, another portrait of deception. Did you see the stunned look on her face, the silence, it was like freeze frame telly in real time.
"Don't you trust me (us)? And the participant could be heard saying, "we don't trust you senator.?" There it is in a nutshell. If you believe, for an instant, that these miscreants, are telling you the truth, think again. If you think they are listening to you, think again. If you think they care about what you want them to do, think again.
They have been kneecapped repeatedly by Rahm and his boys and told that they are going to vote for these bills, THE WAY THEY ARE WRITTEN. Look at what Barney did recently. They took out some extreme parts of a bill, and Frank just put them right back in. These people are dangerous. Dangerous to us. Do you know what was contained in those magical 300 additional pages, stuffed into Cap and Tax by some short-eyed bureaucrat at 3 a.m.? You will shortly.
Memo to all 536 of you, huddled in the Beltway---Don't piss down the back of my neck, and tell me its raining. Oh, and one more minor thing--- READ THE DAMN BILLS. Don't rely on some chiphead, gell-slicked aide to read it for you. We didn't vote for them, WE VOTED FOR YOU.
Here's an early recommendation. Come next year, whomever was in office when this debacle began, whether they are a D or an R, (especially those party traitors, who voted with the dems on these bills) just vote them out. Also, don't believe these leaking, optimistic reports that the recession is over, the markets are turning around, or look at the uptick in the numbers. By this time next year, or sooner, will we have double digit unemployment, inflation and interest rates. Prediction number one. Anyone have a tea bag???
BTW---The reaming of the right and their barnacles are upcoming. Don't ever want to be accused of being one sided or shilling for the right. Sand tracts from burros and pachyderms repulse me equally.
Memo to those allied in the GOP corner---You have nobody to blame for this earthquake of change, but yourselves. You are just as bad, just as drunk, just as stupid as your counterparts. From Haliburton to Blackwater to Scooter Libby to Mark Sanford, and even Wall Street, with their related tentacles, you have more skeletons in your closet, than Bill Bass' Body Farm.
Your time will come on these pages. Currently, you are old news. There are more important items to dissect. "Nothing is riding on any of this........just the 1st. amendment of the Constitution, freedom of speech and maybe the future of the country......not that any of that matters,....but if you guys F*** up again, I'm gonna get mad."
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